APRIL 2007 books
Killer Dreams ~Iris Johansen ~B
Perilous Passions (e-book) ~Teri Thackston ~B
You Suck - a love story ~Christopher Moore ~A
Fear No Evil ~Allison Brennan ~A
The Scent of Shadows ~Vicki Pettersson ~A
Seeing Eye Mate (e-book) ~Annmarie McKenna ~B+
Stranger in My Arms ~Rochelle Alers ~B+ (need to look for rest in series)
Nightlife ~Rob Thurman ~A+
Lush ~Sasha White ~B- (last story was an A though)
Just Like Heaven ~Barbara Bretton ~B+
Nine-Month Surprise ~Jacqueline Diamond ~Oy Vey *shudders*
Perfect for You ~Sylvia Lett ~DNF
The Sword ~Jean Johnson ~B-
Moonshine ~Rob Thurman ~A+
Waking Up in Charleston ~Sherryl Woods ~B+
Full Time Father ~Susan Mallery ~B-
Kitty Takes a Holiday ~Carrie Vaughn ~B
MAY 2007 BOOKS
Object of Love ~Sharon Cullars ~Meh… I finished it but barely. D+? I’m returning it.
High School Reunion ~Kimberly Dean ~B-
Poison Study ~A+!!!
Lessons and Lovers (ebook) ~Portia Da Costa ~B
Lara ~Bertrice Small ~Wallbanger!!!
Magic Bites ~Ilona Andrews ~B
Night Lost ~Lynn Viehl ~B+
Virtually His ~Gennita Low ~DNF
Wild Wicked & Wanton ~Jaci Burton ~A-
Obsession ~Karen Robards ~B
Snow in September ~Rachel Lee ~B
Flashpoint ~Suzanne Brockmann ~B
Alibi Man ~Tami Hoag ~B (kept feeling I’d read it before though)
Sighs Matters ~Marianne Stillings ~C+
Karma Girl ~Jennifer Estep ~B+ (must look for more by her!)
Hunters: Heart and Soul ~Shiloh Walker ~A-
Loving Jack & Best Laid Plans ~Nora Roberts ~B
The Three Motives for Murder ~Michelle Perry ~B
Secrets in the Shadows ~Jenna Black ~B
The Secret ~Kat Martin ~C
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Thursday 13
13 great moments in Monty Python ...
1. “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!”
2. “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?”
3. “NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.”
4. “Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.”
5. “Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.”
6. “STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG: What?!
LORETTA: It's my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies.
REG: You want to have babies?!
LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.
REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!”
7. “Tim the Enchanter: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.”
8.
Catholic Dad (singing): Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Catholic Daughter (singing): Let the heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay,
For each sperm that can't be found.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Every Sperm is Sacred - song
9. “BBC Announcer: We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.”
10. “First Bruce: We find your American beer like making love in a canoe. It's fucking close to water.”
11.
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel.
Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am."
12.
Customer: This isn't an argument! It's just contradiction!
Professional Arguer: No, it isn't!
Customer: Yes it is!
Professional Arguer: No, no, no!
Customer: It is!
Professional Arguer: No, it isn't!
Customer: Yes it is! An argument is an intellectual process! It isn't just contradiction!
Professional Arguer: Look, if I'm to argue with you, I have to take up a contracitary position!
Customer: Yes, but it's not just saying "No it isn't!"
Professional Arguer: Yes, it is!
Customer: No, it isn't!
13. King Arthur: Run away!
Monday, May 28, 2007
A yummy salad I had this weekend.
Grilled Peach and Chicken Salad
DRESSING:
1/3 cup plain non-fat yogurt
1 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tbsp peach juice
1 tbsp snipped fresh mint leaves
1/8 tsp salt
CHICKEN AND SALAD:
1 tsp vegetable oil
1 garlic clove, pressed
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
salt and coarsely ground black pepper
2 large peaches, pitted and cut into wedges
1 cup lightly pressed watercress leaves (this is what the recipe calls for. The leaves in the salad I had were just mixed baby greens)
1/4 cup toasted chopped pecans
*For dressing, whisk ingredients in a bowl until well blended then refrigerate until ready for use.
*Combine oil and garlic then brush over the chicken. Season with salt and black pepper. Grill chicken. When done cut chicken into bite sized pieces.
*place peach wedges on lightly greased grid of grill. Grill covered for 2-3 minutes turning once when grill marks appear.
*Place chicken and peaches into mixing bowl, adding the dressing and mix gently. Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until chilled.
*To serve, add watercress to chicken mixture, tossing lightly. Sprinkle with pecans.
*Make lots of yummy noises.
DRESSING:
1/3 cup plain non-fat yogurt
1 tbsp fresh lime juice
1 tbsp peach juice
1 tbsp snipped fresh mint leaves
1/8 tsp salt
CHICKEN AND SALAD:
1 tsp vegetable oil
1 garlic clove, pressed
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
salt and coarsely ground black pepper
2 large peaches, pitted and cut into wedges
1 cup lightly pressed watercress leaves (this is what the recipe calls for. The leaves in the salad I had were just mixed baby greens)
1/4 cup toasted chopped pecans
*For dressing, whisk ingredients in a bowl until well blended then refrigerate until ready for use.
*Combine oil and garlic then brush over the chicken. Season with salt and black pepper. Grill chicken. When done cut chicken into bite sized pieces.
*place peach wedges on lightly greased grid of grill. Grill covered for 2-3 minutes turning once when grill marks appear.
*Place chicken and peaches into mixing bowl, adding the dressing and mix gently. Cover and refrigerate about 2 hours or until chilled.
*To serve, add watercress to chicken mixture, tossing lightly. Sprinkle with pecans.
*Make lots of yummy noises.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thursday 13
Thirteen Calvin and Hobbes comics that make me smile... (sorry the pictures are so small. I'll try to adjust them tomorrow.)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Things that make me go ...
What the HELL???
It's called The Daddle (the name makes me giggle-snort a bit LOL)
Is it me or is this beyond crazy?
I found it while blog hopping (imagine that)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Okay, yesterday wasn't all bad *s*
I had the day off work (YAY!)so I went to Miss S's swim lesson and watched her be
way too fearless for her Mommy's (and Auntie's) sanity.
I also had some quality play time with Miss E.
She's all about the giant baby kisses (very slobbery but cute), blowing kisses and saying mmmmaaaaa while blowing smoochies, and dancing (wiggling body with music - much more fun to do when Auntie Erin is holding her so she can stand and bounce legs too).
She's still not crawling. She's not at all about being on her knees when she has feet that are for standing. I think the kid is going to skip the crawling thing and go right to walking. LOL
When Miss E was having her nap, Mommy took advantage of me being there and
went grocery shopping with no kids. I stayed and played Dora the Explorer play-doh with Miss S.
The early part of the afternoon was way fun :)
way too fearless for her Mommy's (and Auntie's) sanity.
I also had some quality play time with Miss E.
She's all about the giant baby kisses (very slobbery but cute), blowing kisses and saying mmmmaaaaa while blowing smoochies, and dancing (wiggling body with music - much more fun to do when Auntie Erin is holding her so she can stand and bounce legs too).
She's still not crawling. She's not at all about being on her knees when she has feet that are for standing. I think the kid is going to skip the crawling thing and go right to walking. LOL
When Miss E was having her nap, Mommy took advantage of me being there and
went grocery shopping with no kids. I stayed and played Dora the Explorer play-doh with Miss S.
The early part of the afternoon was way fun :)
Why I hate shopping - OR the story where I showed admirable restraint
...and didn't kill me any shop bitches.
As a person who has struggled with weight issues all my life, I've never really liked shopping. Not even in the 'special' stores with sizes geared towards large people.
It's humiliating to have to pick sizes that big.
It's even more humiliating when they're tight or don't fit. This is why I have so many shoes. Even skinny people have feet my size.
It's never something I look forward to when I have to go into regular stores. For the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walk I have to purchase some items that I just haven't been able to find in the plus sized stores so I made an attempt to try the regular sized stores yesterday.
The first couple of times it happened I didn't let it bother me. (while it was happening at any rate) But then I got tired of waiting for assistance and had the audacity of going up to a few sales clerks who'd been thus far successfully ignoring me and *gasp* asking them for assistance.
It's a simple question I had to ask really. I need some athletic wear that isn't just for show. The plus sized stores have some stuff but I've tried wearing it and it just doesn't last when it's used for sporty purposes. The stitching doesn't last and there isn't the support I need ...blah blah blah the list goes on.
Anyways I went into an athletic supply store. It had lots of different styles and a great selection ... for people who are already small. After being walked past and around a few times while the sales clerks assisted other customers, People who'd come in after me, and people who they had to go around me to get to, I got tired of the wait and went up to a group of clerks (3 who were talking to each other) and asked if they knew where I could go to find what I needed. Was there a different branch that carried a larger selection of sizes or did they know of other stores where I might go to.
The person who answered me couldn't even look me in the face while she talked.
It felt to me like she was afraid that my fat was contageous.
The other clerks were suddenly struck mute and busy (couldn't talk and suddenly had to go do stuff somewhere else).
The wall of invisibility was with me in a few other places but I didn't receive this level of disrespect/ignorance/whatever you want to call it, at any other store. That could be because I didn't force them to acknowledge me after this experience. Who knows.
I must say that when I went to the store that just had athletic foot wear the men that worked there were helpful. Maybe it's just women that can catch fat by talking to a fatty? I don't know.
It certainly hasn't made me eager to go out and continue my search.
So now you know. Sometimes fat people stay fat because of the service they receive in these places. It's humiliating to have to go to the gym wearing tent like clothes. When you go somewhere to solve that problem you're further humiliated by mean people. It does't seem like it should be a big thing. To be able to wear something that 'regular' sized people wear to the gym. It is though. It's the first step in making yourself feel like you fit in.
It was so fucking tempting to 'drown' my depression in food. I didn't do it but it was difficult not to.
As a person who has struggled with weight issues all my life, I've never really liked shopping. Not even in the 'special' stores with sizes geared towards large people.
It's humiliating to have to pick sizes that big.
It's even more humiliating when they're tight or don't fit. This is why I have so many shoes. Even skinny people have feet my size.
It's never something I look forward to when I have to go into regular stores. For the Weekend to End Breast Cancer walk I have to purchase some items that I just haven't been able to find in the plus sized stores so I made an attempt to try the regular sized stores yesterday.
The first couple of times it happened I didn't let it bother me. (while it was happening at any rate) But then I got tired of waiting for assistance and had the audacity of going up to a few sales clerks who'd been thus far successfully ignoring me and *gasp* asking them for assistance.
It's a simple question I had to ask really. I need some athletic wear that isn't just for show. The plus sized stores have some stuff but I've tried wearing it and it just doesn't last when it's used for sporty purposes. The stitching doesn't last and there isn't the support I need ...blah blah blah the list goes on.
Anyways I went into an athletic supply store. It had lots of different styles and a great selection ... for people who are already small. After being walked past and around a few times while the sales clerks assisted other customers, People who'd come in after me, and people who they had to go around me to get to, I got tired of the wait and went up to a group of clerks (3 who were talking to each other) and asked if they knew where I could go to find what I needed. Was there a different branch that carried a larger selection of sizes or did they know of other stores where I might go to.
The person who answered me couldn't even look me in the face while she talked.
It felt to me like she was afraid that my fat was contageous.
The other clerks were suddenly struck mute and busy (couldn't talk and suddenly had to go do stuff somewhere else).
The wall of invisibility was with me in a few other places but I didn't receive this level of disrespect/ignorance/whatever you want to call it, at any other store. That could be because I didn't force them to acknowledge me after this experience. Who knows.
I must say that when I went to the store that just had athletic foot wear the men that worked there were helpful. Maybe it's just women that can catch fat by talking to a fatty? I don't know.
It certainly hasn't made me eager to go out and continue my search.
So now you know. Sometimes fat people stay fat because of the service they receive in these places. It's humiliating to have to go to the gym wearing tent like clothes. When you go somewhere to solve that problem you're further humiliated by mean people. It does't seem like it should be a big thing. To be able to wear something that 'regular' sized people wear to the gym. It is though. It's the first step in making yourself feel like you fit in.
It was so fucking tempting to 'drown' my depression in food. I didn't do it but it was difficult not to.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Thursday 13
 |
1. Erin needs ... a drink (actually this one is pretty true *g*) 2. Erin needs ... to wear shirts (also very true. No one needs to see a shirtless Erin LOL) 3. Erin needs ... what most white girls crave - a c**k that measures in the double didgits (WOW I had no idea I needed that. I think it sounds painful.) 4. Erin needs ... to go to bed. (actually this one is true too LOL) 5. Erin needs ... a new hobby. 6. Erin needs ... an exorcism. (shaddap Jaynie) 7. Erin needs ... to be naked too. (didn't we cover this in the Erin needs to wear shirts entry?) 8. Erin needs ... a man or an attorney. (huh?) 9. Erin needs ... "My Auntie Erin DESPERATELY needs to raise more money for her giant walk!" (COOL! I googled myself!!!) 10. Erin needs ... to play fish tycoon. (huh??) 11. Erin needs ... to clean her room. (looking around for the spy camera) 12. Erin needs ... you more than ever now. (wow I sound desperate) 13. Erin needs ... money. (OMG How did they know???) Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Don't you hate it when ...
you find that you can no longer read books written by former auto-buy authors because they're so damn horrible (consistently)that you want to poke your eye out with a pen as you slam your head into a wall to take away the pain of the words you forced yourself to read. You forced yourself to read them because you couldn't believe that the book was THAT FRICKIN BAD. Unfortunately it only got worse.
Luckily I was able to restrain myself from actually tearing the book apart and burning the pages. I was able to return it and get something different instead.
I had to do a massive test read though. I think I read the first 30 pages in the store (good thing I read fast) in order to make SURE that it wouldn't make me want to tear my eyes out with the horror of it.
That was this past weekend btw. I'm still shuddering with the terrifying memory of it.
And no I'm not naming the book here. I'm sweet and innocent and nice and stuff. It would go against my beliefs since I can't constructively criticise it. I can only say it is the most horrific piece of dung that has probably been published and I'm sad that while reading it, I lost time in my life that I can never get back.
Luckily I was able to restrain myself from actually tearing the book apart and burning the pages. I was able to return it and get something different instead.
I had to do a massive test read though. I think I read the first 30 pages in the store (good thing I read fast) in order to make SURE that it wouldn't make me want to tear my eyes out with the horror of it.
That was this past weekend btw. I'm still shuddering with the terrifying memory of it.
And no I'm not naming the book here. I'm sweet and innocent and nice and stuff. It would go against my beliefs since I can't constructively criticise it. I can only say it is the most horrific piece of dung that has probably been published and I'm sad that while reading it, I lost time in my life that I can never get back.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I have another winner!
Patti (battiann) is a HUGE winner of 13 books! Thank you so much for your donation Patti :) (and everyone)
I have another draw coming up soon with another AWESOME prize :)
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Thursday 13
1. Rob Thurman *new to me author
2. Vicki Pettersson *new to me author
3. Christopher Moore
4. Ilona Andrews *new to me author
5. Kat Richardson
6. Maria V. Snyder *new to me author
7. Holly Lisle
8. Colleen Gleason
9. Carrie Vaughn
10. Jodi Picoult
11. Annie Solomon
12. Jeff Lindsay
13. Dee Henderson
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Help!!! (shameless use of cute (but very sad) baby picture alert)
I'm so sad! My Auntie Erin DESPERATELY needs to raise more money for her giant walk! (click here to donate)The next draw date (where you have the chance to win THIRTEEN books!!!) is being moved to Thursday (instead of Wednesday). Please please PLEASE donate more money and be entered into the draw. I promise to smile real pretty for you if you do!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
I've been tagged by Shiloh Walker
Here are the rules.... (copied from Shi's blog)
Here are my answers ~
1. I'm allergic to nature (animal dander, grass, pollen, mold, dust, grass
... damn spring time LOL)
2. I love the smell of freshly mown lawn (damned allergies!)
3. I am addicted to youtube. It is a wonderous invention.
4. I love to travel and wish I could travel more. I need to win the lottery
or something like that LOL
5. I'm a book-a-holic. I don't apologize for my addiction to books. It's healthier than other addictions.
6. I haven't watched more than a couple of hours a week of TV for 4 years.
Sometimes not even that much. (although I have been keeping up with American Idol at youtube. See??? It's an addiction)
7. I love thunder. I love the rain. Walking in the rain is awesome. (the song/movie too! Not just the act of walking in the rain LOL) Puddle stomping is the BEST.
8. I love music. I almost always have some playing when I'm at home. I have eclectic taste though. The only stuff I don't like is rap.
I'm tagging ...
*Sasha White
*Dakota Cassidy
*Anne
*Jaci Burton
*Maura
*Daisy Dexter Dobbs (I love that name *g* Just typing it makes me smile LOL Yes I know I'm weird)
*Terri
*Samantha Winston
Da Rulez:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
Here are my answers ~
1. I'm allergic to nature (animal dander, grass, pollen, mold, dust, grass
... damn spring time LOL)
2. I love the smell of freshly mown lawn (damned allergies!)
3. I am addicted to youtube. It is a wonderous invention.
4. I love to travel and wish I could travel more. I need to win the lottery
or something like that LOL
5. I'm a book-a-holic. I don't apologize for my addiction to books. It's healthier than other addictions.
6. I haven't watched more than a couple of hours a week of TV for 4 years.
Sometimes not even that much. (although I have been keeping up with American Idol at youtube. See??? It's an addiction)
7. I love thunder. I love the rain. Walking in the rain is awesome. (the song/movie too! Not just the act of walking in the rain LOL) Puddle stomping is the BEST.
8. I love music. I almost always have some playing when I'm at home. I have eclectic taste though. The only stuff I don't like is rap.
I'm tagging ...
*Sasha White
*Dakota Cassidy
*Anne
*Jaci Burton
*Maura
*Daisy Dexter Dobbs (I love that name *g* Just typing it makes me smile LOL Yes I know I'm weird)
*Terri
*Samantha Winston
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Dakota you might not want to watch this one
(but I kinda hope you do just so I can see the reaction from what happens at about a minute into the video LOL)
Since the last youtube video I posted here I've been watching a bunch of WKRP clips. This one made me giggle a LOT. It's a long one though.
Since the last youtube video I posted here I've been watching a bunch of WKRP clips. This one made me giggle a LOT. It's a long one though.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
One of the best lines in TV ... EVER
"As God is my witness ..."
"... I thought turkey's could fly" Mr Carlson ~ WKRP
"... I thought turkey's could fly" Mr Carlson ~ WKRP
Why God made moms .... answers from some kids
This was sent to me in an e-mail. I know I've seen some of the answers before but they still make me smile *s*
WHY GOD MADE MOMS. Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
WHY GOD MADE MOMS. Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
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